Time keeps passing

It's hard for me to believe that Benjamin's due date is right around the corner (December 5th). Every single day I think about how much different my life would be right now...how big my belly would be, how excited I would be getting, and how much we would be preparing Max for little man's arrival. I still think and wonder, but know that things will never happen that way.

This past Saturday we participated in the Share walk for remembrance and hope at Creve Coeur Park. What a wonderful day! It was so great to see the community of women and families who all come together to remember their little ones who were taken away too soon. I was so lucky to be walking with Bryan, Max, my parents, and my brother and sister-in-law. Their support was amazing. Ben definitely got a lot of balloons from his big brother Max!!! :-)

There have been so many times lately where I have met women who have experienced what I have. It's awesome...it's awesome to connect and be able to share a common experience. The experience isn't awesome, but to have so many who I can relate to is...

I hope one day I can pass along the support that I have felt from so many wonderful women. I am always inspired by all of those who have walked this journey. It is one like no other.

So, what have I learned from Benjamin over the past couple of months...For one thing, I learned he is always with me. It's amazing that I have someone (who isn't physically with me) that can keep me grounded. I appreciate my boys (Bryan and Max) so much more. I think that Ben has slowed me down a bit and allowed me to enjoy all the little things...a great chat with a friend, jumping in the leaves with Max, and reading a new book. Life can go by so quickly. When things get difficult or I have a rough day, I know that in the end....it doesn't matter. It's all about how you treat people. One of my favorite poems I have ever read is by Linda Ellis. This is the way my son has taught me to live....

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?