I woke up around 6am on this day, and went through the motions. I showered, tried to stomach some food, and waited until my Maxwell woke up. I tried to pack clothes for him to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's and pack a hospital bag for myself and Bryan. I didn't think I would have to have my bag packed and ready being only 17 weeks pregnant.
My Dad came and picked Maxwell up, and Bryan and I were on our way. The drive there was nothing like the drive to the hospital when we had Max. The feelings on June 25th were of dread and sadness. Bryan and I didn't know what to say to each other so we pretty much drove in silence.
We arrived to St. John's and went to the labor and delivery unit. I remember so clearly the feelings of walking in there when were going to have Max just 2 years ago....the feelings of excitement overwhelmed me at that time. On this day the feelings of sheer sadness consumed me.
I am not going to go into details of everything I went through on June 25th, but what I will say to you all is that it was the most unreal situation I have ever been dealt with. I went through labor. I went through an epidural. I went through my water breaking. I went through the pains of labor. I went through all of this knowing that the end result was not going to be a living, breathing baby.
I went through all of this with my beautiful and amazing husband by my side. I went through all of this with the love, compassion and support of 3 amazing women; Reva (my nurse), Dr. Kodner, and Dr. January. I went through all of this with the support and love of our family and friends.
At 5pm I gave birth to my sleeping baby. I found out that he was a boy. He was 2.5 ounces and 6.5 inches long. He was so tiny. He was so precious. He was our angel baby, Benjamin.
No comments:
Post a Comment