Where do I go from here?

There are times that I begin to feel "normal" again. Those times are then taken away with a saddness that I can't explain. I worry every second of every day that people will forgot about my sweet boy. I can't. I don't want to.

Life goes on, and I know that, and I have to get back into the swing of things, but those are the times that I get scared that I will not remember. I look back on this entire experience with my son, and there have been so many times that I thought that I could just dream this all away. I have so much of a desire to be pregnant with him again...to enjoy those moments that I didn't get to enjoy.

I have realized a lot through this. Most importantly is everyone has a story. Everyone has struggles, heartaches, happy times, and sad times. It is not our job to judge people or their story. It is our job to listen.

The story of my Benjamin has taught me that life is beautiful and precious. I know that sounds so cliche' but it is so very true. I look at my pictures of my Benjamin every night and am just in awe of how beautiful, perfect, and sweet he was. I look at him and see such hope, and beauty.

I have been amazed throughout this journey how many beautiful and wonderful people there are in this world. I am humbled by the comments and kind words of complete strangers. I am humbled by all of you for reading this right now. I am hopeful that my son will have an impact on this world. I know he will not be the next Albert Pujols. I know he will not become the next president. I know he will not fly to the moon. But I do know this- he will touch every person who hears his story. That's the beauty of my angel. I am one proud Mom!